Sam Webster

CONFUSION

Have you love sumbody that you have try to express you felling towards him/her for a long time???

do you know what i mean???

well try and image...

When i was a just;12 - 14 years old; i told my closest friend that i'm gonna tell her to be my girlfriend,OLIVIA, but she said that she has to focus on her studies...as hours,days,weeks,months,years went by and i thought we will be together again...suddenly, one day comes and that day i found out that my youth co-ordinator,ERIC,went to her life...

do you got the picture???

Now i'm the one trying to figure out why shes with him???

and not with me???

wat so special about him???

and i that ugly,ungentleman,rude,irrespodesable enough???

Y must this happen to me????

I know this sound a little bit crazy but wat can i do???

well she was cute, caring , dun't want to see sum1 get drunk and crazy, smart and she was BEAUTIFULLLLLLLL....-_-"....i was in my cousin's wedding but wat i dun know was she has been in my life for more then 4 years....haiya  but i dun know her name and where she live and i dun even know her parents but her parents know me.... i dun know larrr....wat can i dooo.... well we kiss...MAN SHE WAS A GOOD KISSER but sayang bah i live in kepayan and she is in Tambunan that wheres my kampong....dat day i slept over at my cousin's place and we even talk bout' girls and stuff ( censored ) hehehehe.....well all i can do is wait to have a car and license haiya.....so far away oooo....unless if there any suggestion..????

THE WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE

Have u ever thought that sum1 will b the only 1 in your live become your only victim to make your heart to break into a million pieces???

Well i have been there that girl name was the half of my birthday .... June....she was perfect....everything,her hair ,her smiles ,her laugh , her personality , well ever thing that i was searching for...this girl was my friend's Ex-Girlfriend...so evertime i went out with June, he always want to know what happen and what did i done to her life...but one day he gone too far...

14th April 2007,

We promise to go to center, so excited to go to a date, i woke up take care of everything..and went to church and serve a wedding mass and after that Father give sum Angpow...after that i went to Center,scratching my head finding June...and i planed to propose to her and call her , she said she is still in her house taking care of her nephew..so i went there and Wait and chit-chat with her....and even taking care of her nephew..after a few while her aunt came a take over...but she said she can't go to long cuz she have to sleep early and wake up early for Sunday mass..so we went to Complex Karamunsing and sing in a K-box we have a fun day ...she even bought me a necklace...well every turns up well...and the suffer started in the church...and it even ended there..

14th April 2007(7.00p.m.),

My friend Frans was SMSing with June and suddenly she said i was to young and other thing and it hurt my heart and i u frans' hand phone to SMS with her ... but it keep getting worse ... after all the sacrifice i gave for her ... i even try to be what she want me to be..after that i was told that my mom was waiting in the bus stop ...

14th April 2007(8.08p.m.)

my Dad came and pick up my mom and me...when i shut the door of the car, they started to fight and it went suicidal as my mom open the car trying to jump of the car ... at that time it was not to far from the church ... my mom got out of the car trying to kill herself and i went out and chase her ... then the continue to argue and i was waiting outside of the car ... so i started to speak ... "Why do u all always want to fight Just for a Small matter ,he Just came half an hour late why u all even want to fight , i can't live a life like this"i slam and close the door and ran back to the church ... and we settle the fighting there in the church shouting her and there at that time my friends was still there trying to comfort me ... and thats that day o my worse life ... got betrayed and a conflict  over my parents ....

Finally

i feel freash...lolz...ya ba i really feel freash afdter stealing in a super market ,caught smoking,lol...family problem..ahh....lolz...sakit kepala now teacher fight with me at their own rite...and risk...hehe...lolz...other than that....i express my feeling to some1 i love since i was 6..lolz...lolz..now i really feel freash saying in this post how i feel...hope that some1 take me larr..but i2 put kalau larr...KALAU!!!..mati larr....KALAU...so just keep it going word of advice...express you love out loud b4 some take it away...hah........

after "My First damn kiss" 2

...her phone rang and she saw my number and refuse 2 answer.so call and call until i lost hope and sms her "y don' t you pick up the phone?".she receive the sms and read the msg and tears started rolling down her smooth cheak she wipe her tears and take a deep breath,and acting she didn't even receive the msg.she keep her handphone in silent mode and put her handphone in silent mode.i wait in frint of my handphone and started calling her handphone.bcuz she put her handphone in silent mode she juz acted like it was nothing.as the day past as i waited her calling i kept dreaming our 1st kiss the way she feel in me as i in her.

at 2.00p.m;

i wait as i dream but suddenly i hear a ringing sound from my hse phone, as i answer the phone hoping it was Desiree,i her my mom voice as telling me to get raedy for we are going to lunch.i took a fast shower.and get ready for my arrival of my parents.i wait and i wait then a car coming from a far.i saw my parent and a shocking image in the back seat,it was Joycelynn and my two sister.i ask my mom "y are they here?""they are going to the clinic for an appointment."so i got in the car and pretend not to see them.we arrivied in the clinic and thay got down and i wait.i waited for half an hour and we all go and eat something for lunch.after that my father want me to stay at Joycelynn hse...i don't want but i have to.....

2 B Continue..

after"My First damn kiss"

on the 11th of  December,i find my self in oblivion dun know where to go and what to think...all i care now is Desiree...i kept asking my self. where i gone wrong?? what hav i done?? what should i Do?? who should i ask?? where i shall go?? should i apologize?? what shall i speak about?? i dun know now i'm losing hope.............

...

...

...

...

...

...

? : ( Sam a flower is not a a kind of flower where there is only 1 )

Sam: ( huh, whos there?? )

? : ( You are a fool y don't you hace a 2nd thought !)

Sam: ( Dammit whos there )

? : ( Just cheer up )

i slowly open my eyes and i found my self in the church compound...i was not alone...i was ... with my friend...i tell them wat happen last nite and they kept on lecturing me...say stuff like "why you move so fast?? you know your not ready yet..!and yet you move without a command in your head.." ...... then i call Desiree asking for an apologie....

2 b continue

My First damn kiss.part 2

on 10th December 06',..... we kiss until 4.00am and then there is a bigg beat at my heart and i take the innitiative to ask her " Desiree" i slowly ask her and continue "will....you...be...my...girlfriend?" she look pail and think and think and think...she keep wiping her eye and face and think. and where was i then?? i was there wit her in the living room of joycelynn hse.. and then i ask her again" will .....you.... be... my ....girlfriend?" and then a voice soming from her sweet lips and out come a heart broken and a headace "no,i'm sori..Sam""but you still luv me rite?"i anwer.she shoked her head and i ask "can i kiss you 1 last time...."she kept quiet and with and innocent look and i kiss her....oh wat a lovely girl  gone 2 waste and that is y i'm at this 3 days fustration period where i hurt my self and begging for my friend to kill me n fast....

My First damn kiss.

on 9th of  December... i slept at my friend's hse(joycelynn)i have a great time staying there and than i saw her cousin(desiree)..she was the most beautiful girl i hav ever saw in my life time....and i will never 4get..she hav a perfect hair and perfect skin....she was just perfect.and than the daybreak and came to night...joycelynn and i were beting throughout the night seeing who sleep the latest...so we chit and chat until i saw desiree slpeeing near joycelynn but dun worry i won the bet...yes!!..but i can't keep looking at desiree..so i tell desiree "i luv u !"  than i ask desiree "do you luv me??" she shook her head and said "yes..i do."my heart beat faster and faster...and thean i kiss her ... i ask her "did you feel that kiss?"she said " no" then i ask her "if i ask her "if i kiss you now will you feel it?"she kept quiet and i lean and kiss her that was my first kiss......2 B Contineued